Anoniem heeft gezegd: U can't get over the fact that justin is trying to move on
I have been a jelena shipper for many years. You clearly aren’t a jelena shipper so ofcourse you don’t care about this all but i do.
Just imagine when selena saw those photos and all her texting justin; what the hell are you doing?
Anoniem heeft gezegd: Thanks for making me cry 😢😢 You write really well x
Thanks for the compliment babe! x
A letter of love
"I think this is the last stuff" I said to Ashley Benson. "Don’t you feel like throwing your life away right now?" she asked. "Ofcourse i do, this is something i never wanted to do. But if I keep our pictures, his clothes, his baseball caps and all the other stuff of us, of him in my house it will hurt me even more. It’s good. I have accepted it, he moved on.." A tear escaped mine eye while saying it. "He moved on.. but so quickly. and that’s what hurts the most I think."
Ashley gave me a hug, friends like ashley was what i needed in those times. “I know honey, I don’t get it either. Ryan told me 3 weeks ago or something, that Justin was so happy to have you back. But if he was so happy he wouldn’t do this. Relationships end and that’s okay. But in my eyes it isn’t okay to be all over another girl when it isn’t official finished yet? He’s such acting like an asshole, I don’t know him like this Sel..”
I closed the last boxes with Justin’s stuff, I decided to put all our or his stuff in boxes and just send it to him. I knew that if I kept it would hurt me even more, living between these things that once meant everything to me and him. But that didn’t mean that i was over it, or that it was easy. Tears were my best friends those days and the only thing i kept thinking was ‘How can he do this?’ We were closer than ever, thinking about our future more and more. and he just throw it away with those side hoes of him. Disappointed was the right word for this situation.
In one of the boxes I put a letter on top, a red ribbon around it and I tied the J ring to it. One last look and I sent a part of my life away..
I was working on some of my new songs when Yovanna started to get touchy again. It was just happening and deep inside I knew I was hurting Sel. The fact that I was working on these songs, all written for her made it even harder. I tried so hard to get her back, and I just screwed up again like always. Damn why couldn’t I stay loyal to her. Mom, scoot, kenny, sel, ryan, chaz and everyone who’s true to me tell me often enough that those girls like yovanna, chantel, ella are just loving my name and money, not me as person.
The next morning Yovanna was away, shopping or something. And even though she is nice, I was happy to be alone with my thoughts for a moment. Those thoughts didn’t make me happy at all but I realized i made this situation and not someone else.
Johnny walked in with some boxes and said it was for me and put them down. After some minutes I opened the boxes. Clothes, hats, pictures, what was this i thought to myself. Then I realized that all these things were with Sel all this time.. In one of the boxes was a letter, with a ribbon, shit the J ring. I started crying and I didn’t even read the letter yet. This said enough, her sending all my stuff back, I fucked it up. I ruined my whole relationship, my relationship with the love of my life, the girl I wanted to grow old with. Titanic dates, zoo dates, mexico, hawaii, weddings and the first time i saw her and sang to her flashed throw my mind. What the hell did I do?
I opened the letter and started reading, with tears streaming down my cheeks.
First of all I want to say that I never imagined writing this letter and even though I am acting like I am a strong person it hurts me more than ever to do this. I remember how it was back then, you were singing one less lonely girl to me, I thought you were the cutest boy ever, but dating you? never. Things changed a lot since then, you started chasing me and doing anything to get me. We started to become friends and I used to call you my little brother, if there was someone who understood me in a pretty hard time in my life it was you. We got closer and closer and friends wasn’t the right word anymore, we became lovers. When we started dating you were the sweetest boyfriend every girl could wish. I was the happiest girl on earth. These days, weeks, months, years are times that I won’t forget. You made me more confident and self conscious, I want to thank you for that.
Our relationship had some bad parts too, like everything in this world has its bad parts. Your fans, your beliebers didn’t respect me which made it harder to go out in public, but there was a time we did, we were fearless, you were posting pictures of us and didn’t give attention to this hate. I don’t know what exactly let to it but since 2012 it started to change. The year ended heavy, your first ‘side hoe’ said hello. I lost my trust in you, but after hard, hard trying i got it back. You were doing everything to get me back, and there were moments that it felt like the first time you were chasing me. But you changed friends, those friends didn’t bring the best out of you and made it even worser. Our relationship wouldn’t be what it was anymore. We got a lot ups and downs since this all happened. every time I was down, I wanted one boy to comfort me, and that boy was you. I wanted you to hug me, and that always was the start of an ‘up moment’ we were together as a couple for some time and when we were together it was fine, i was happy and I love. But then a ‘down moment’ followed, you or me or both went out of town and we weren’t together anymore.
Some weeks ago you had a hard time and you came back to me. You told me you couldn’t live without me and our love was unconditional, we always felt back in each other arms. We were not only lovers, but soul mates and best friends. And maybe that’s the thing that makes me scared. I can find a new lover, you already did. But it’s harder to find a new soulmate and a best friend who knows you so well.
But it seems like the time that you need me is over again. You have some new girls who are your love of your life and I need to accept that. But for myself it’s better to say goodbye to the things that remind me of you and of us. That’s why all those things are in front of you now. You can decide what to do with it, it’s your choice. I don’t want it anymore, cause these things make me think of happy times. Times we were talking about our future, we would stop working in some years, we would move to canada and have 10 kids and a big garden. Now I know my future has changed because of your other plans I don’t want those things anymore. I hope you understand that, like I understand that you don’t want a relationship with me anymore.
I wish you all the best in the world, do the things that make you happy and be careful for yourself and the people around you.
Lots of love,
I couldn’t think anymore, I called her 1000 times but she didn’t pick me up. I screwed up and for real this time. I fucked up her little trust in me and I won’t forgive myself that, ever. What did I have to do to get her back..again..? With that thought in my head i fell asleep on the couch.
Thanks for reading this all the way. Didn’t talk english for some time so forgive my faults and grammar hahah ;p I wonder what’s up with jelena, I hope/think we will find out soon.
lots of love xx Feedback is welcome in my ask box!